Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Even though I read this book earlier, I have experienced this yesterday only. May be before that I didn’t realized.

I just returned from work and entered the home. My mom told me that the gas lighter was fell down and the handle was broken. She was trying to explain more. But I interrupted her and said, “Don’t worry mom, I will get you new one”.

I thought this will cool her. But the effect was reverse. She said “Am I dumb? Why you are trying to stop me? I should not talk?”. Really I didn’t get what she meant.

She continued. “Morning you wake up early and going to yoga. After returning you are rushing to office. And you are back at night only. Only this time I can speak to you. That time also you are stopping me to speak.”

I realized what she meant. Here she is not worried about the broken thing. She is using that has some topic and trying to speak to me little.

I ashamed that I am not spending quite a lot time with her. Hardly I am available home in weekends. Weekdays most of the time goes in office and other activities. So she wants me to spend some time with her.

As said by John Grey in ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’, a man wants to help a woman feel better by solving her problems. He feels he can be valued and thus worthy of her love when his abilities are used to solve her problems. He has no idea that by just listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive.

This is the reality. What I understood was my mom is asking for a solution. But she wants me to spend some time with her. Now I realized this. Now trying to leave office earlier :)

Happiness

What is happiness? When a person feels that he is the happiest person in the world?

Everyone thinks happiness in their own way. If you ask a jobless man, he would say that he would be happy if he gets a job. Ask an unmarried man, he would say that he would be happy if he gets married. Ask a person who is seeking love from a girl; he would say that he would die for getting the love.

Everyone has their own list. And they will feel happy when their desire becomes fulfilled. But after their desires are got fulfilled are they really happy? Definitely no. Their list grows. And they are not happy anymore.

See the pattern of their desire; they are seeking what they don’t have. If their desire comes fulfilled they will be happy; otherwise not. Unfulfilled desires make their life misery.

How a man will be happier ever? If he has desires which can be fulfilled. Or he is happy with what he got.

If we understand this we will be happier ever. This point is said by most of the yogis. As said by Gowthama Budhdha, unfulfilled desires are the reasons for misery. It is said in first poet of Thuravu adhigaram in Thurukkural. When I read that poet in my childhood, I didn’t get the real meaning. Now I got it.

So I just started to live happy with what I got. Not expecting any more and not having desires which can’t be fulfilled.

Who wants to be a zero?

Who wants to be a zero? In every circumstance everyone wants to be a hero. Whether if it is in a closed room (or) public place everyone wants to be recognized and show cases them different from others. Especially if there is a girl and there are more boys, everyone wants to grab the attention of girl. So they do some funny things. It is true for everyone including me.

I just thought what I have done all these years. Now it seems funny, what I have done to catch the attention from others. In those situations everyone wants to become something which they are not really.

As said by Sadhguru, spirituality is not we are doing; if we stop all the non-sense what we are doing. It is spirituality. So I just stopped doing all these non-sense. Why I should change my behavior and showcase me as some character which really I am not. Now I started watching the world as it is.

I donno what to say after this. I need to revisit this topic again and add more.

Colors of Life

I am an atheist. I became as an atheist when I was doing my 7th std. Now it’s more than a decade ago, still I remember that day. My teacher was explaining about Periyar's thoughts. That made me to think about God and existence of God. As of now I lived as an atheist for nearly 14 years.

My bro is the pilgrim of Swamy Ayyappa and every year he used to go to Sabarimala. Many times he told about his last trip to Sabarimala, thru the route from Erumeli to Sabarimala. The route is called ‘Peru Vazhi Pathai’ and the pilgrim has to pass mountains and walk nearly 48 kms.

Inspired by his experience, this time I want to go to Sabarimala, without wearing mala. But my bro said, “So far you are living as an atheist. Live as a pilgrim for 45 days”. So I accepted the offer and want to live my life for 45 days in a different color.

Everyday we got up early morning and went to the near by Ayyappan temple by walk. Some days we missed. In weekends we have gone to Pazhamuthircholai. We will go to Abdul’s house by vehicle and from his house we will walk to Pazhamuthircholai. Its nearly 15 kms.

The days are gone just like that. We have started our journey to Sabarimala on Jan 5th morning. Our group had 11 pilgrims. Most of the pilgrims were my age group.

Reached Erumeli on Jan 5th evening. Started the journey from Erumeli on Jan 6th early morning. Since the group is big, and had 4 freshers, a strategy was formed. Every one has to stick to experienced one. As a fresher, I want to prove that I can walk fast and cross the mountains easily. So I started walking fast, reached the meeting points Peruthodu, Kaalaikatti & Azhutha Yettram ahead of schedule. Few people reached after some time. Others had pit stops and reached an hour later.

Now I realized that going alone and reaching the meeting point is not a big thing. Instead I need to motivate the people who are walking slow and make them reach. So I stayed back. Most of the people are de-motivated by seeing the height of the mountain. I encouraged them by saying, “Do not see the height of the mountain. Just follow the pilgrim, who is walking in front of you”.

Finally reached Karuvilanthodu Jan 6th evening and halted. Next day we have started to cross Karimala, which is difficult to pass. Frankly speaking I don’t have any difficulties, but I don’t know why the people are saying that its difficult. Then we have reached Pamba.

Pamba is considered as divine. But the river is so dirty. Its full of human wastes. (The gift from the devotees so far???) . So everywhere we sticked with mineral water.

After Pamba, started walking to Sabarimala. We have reached Saramkothi around 1.30pm. Up to Saramkothi we don’t have any problems. After Saramkothi, the pilgrims are moved batch by batch. The crowd is huge. Then the real frustration started.

The pilgrims are not at all following the rules. They are jumping between queues. The police men are also not controlling them. They are simply watching. Got highly frustrated and we have tried to control the crowd. But those people are not listening. We stayed in the queue for nearly 14 hours. Then went to ‘18 divine steps’. By the time it was 3 am. Unable to see the Swamy Ayyappa, bcoz the sannidhi was closed around 11pm.

With the frustration we have gone to cottage and slept. Next day morning, my bro taken us to see the Swamy Ayyappa by doing the Ashtabishegam. We have seen the Swamy Ayyappa for nearly 15 minutes.

The last day we have waited nearly 14 hours, for a second to see Swamy Ayyappa. But now we had dharisanam for 15 minutes. While seeing the abhisegam our frustration was gone. If we had dharisanam on last night, we wouldn't have got this.

There I realized that, "If we are not getting the wanted one now, in future we will get the better one"

Code Name God

I heard the name of this book, when my lead Abdul was saying that he is going to purchase the book for his friend. So I just googled and read about it. After few months ago, my friend Vimalan and I went to Landmark. He was searching for some book. That time I remembered this book and suggested him to read. He bought it, but forgot to read. After few months he started reading it and told me that it was such a nice book and a must read.

Then I started reading the book. The author is an Indian scientist who born in mud floor. He becomes a great scientist in quantum physics. With his invention of using LASER in LASIK eye surgery, he became a multi-millionaire.

The book reflects his thought process. As a scientist he explains the world and his discovery of god. He explains the god using Physics and the way he does is mind blowing.

The following facts from the books are amazing,

• The total energy of the universe is zero.


• Under GUT (Grand Unification Theory), any field in the universe is subset of quantum field.


• The size of the universe at the time of big bang is about one hundred millionth of a billionth of the size of a proton.


• You can create ‘twin’ Photons and whatever be the distance that separates them, you change the state of one Photon, the other automatically and instantly adjusts its state.

Finally he concludes to do quantum meditation, through which we can feel the universe.

What is a real life?

What is a real life? Or what ever the life we are living is real? (Cool!!! In the first statement itself I arrived the topic :) ).

My profession is software. I write programs. But I don’t want my life to go programmatically. When I entered as a fresher, I was so interested to do programs. But after few years, the interest is reduced. I was bored of routine work. Waking up in the morning, going to office, returning late night, short sleep. Most of the weekends in office. Most of the time I forgot to call my mom. The life is going like this. So I started concentrate on other activities.

My interest turned into books, music & movies. But after some period of time, these also bother. So I asked myself what is a real life?

Well. As said in the movie Pancha Thanthiram, "It is easy to ask question; To answer the question is difficult". Does work is life? No, work is part of life. We can't say this or that. But the answer is "it depends" (When I attended Six Sigma training, the trainer said that a Six Sigma Black Belt guy will say 'it depends'. But I am not a Black Belt guy).

We born in this world. Whether we like it or not, we need money for survival. Stand in a higher level and think what money is. It is a man made one. Honestly speaking its a fake entity. But we are highly needed of money. So to get money, we need to work. We need money for survival.

I have seen few people, who are spending time only in office. You can see them in weekends and late nights. Also there are few people, who never slogs in office. What do you say, which one is better?

When my friend Senthilnathan came to Madurai, I met him in GRT. I remember that night and the chat we had. I was saying that my big brother is spending more time in office and he is not carring his personal life. And I said that the work and personal life should be balanced. But he said it is not like that.

Here is his statement,

'The company is feeding me. It gives me the social status. So I wont bother to work hard. My prioirty is work than personal life'

How true the statement is. So in which we need to concentrate? work (or) personal life. The answer is 'it depends'. If you are passionate about work and you have goals to reach, work hard. If you want to spend more time in home, plan your profession accordingly.

In very simple terms, it can be said as "What you sow is what you reap"

To live happily, we need to do the things which we like. If you like painting, do painting in your free time. If you dont like your current work, look for the work which you like. Have some hobbies which are not at all related with your work. Like if you are a software professional, dont play computer games in free times. Try gardening, biking or learn musical instruments. Whether you like the work or not, it is determined by your mind only. If you start love your work, your life will be enjoyable.

Life is beautiful. Learn to enjoy it.

Searching for a lighthouse...

I found this sentence, when I was reading the book 'The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari' by Robin Sharma. I bought this book 1.5 years ago, when I was buying the 'The Da Vinci Code' book. The Da Vinci code was good and it doesn't let me to put down. So I totally forgot to read it. It was there in my self for nearly 1.5 years unnoticed.

The day was Diwali. I am totally bored of reading fiction books, watching TV and of course going to office. The day was really a mess. I was blank and really donno what to do. When I looked into my self, I found this book which tells the way to look myself. Last week when I was in Bangalore my bro was saying about this book. And my lead Abdul also saying about it. So started reading.

Bored huh? Like I had the book, but it was unnoticed. We are all having the MIND, but not utlizing it. The book says how to utilize it effectively and make success in our personal, professional & spiritual life.