Happiness revisited

I know I am missing something. Like I am not happy or satisfied like when I was in my boyhood. In schooldays getting pocket money is difficult, if I get so eating chocolates, pocket ices, etc made me happier and satisfied. And in those days the weekends and holidays are the golden days. More eagerly waiting for weekends and playing cricket all the day made me wonderful.

Now I can eat anything I want. But not interested to eat snacks. Now I can buy any sports goods, but am not playing. Those days the hot summer doesn’t bothered me. Whatever it is I played and enjoyed. So whats happened? When I am growing up, I am loosing those happiest moments.

I know that I am not happy or satisfied with the current life. So I tried to explore it further. I tried to capture waht is missing and that’s why my earlier blog ‘happiness’ was. I donno whats missing. But I feel that its missing.

Couple of weeks back when myself and my friend Theiveegam were having the snack in some petti shop, I told him that in childhood if I get a Koli Kundu I will be happy like anything. Now I have Bose speakers, still not feeling that much. He also felt the same. That time I saw two boys (age will be around 12) who are working in some small shops came to the petti shop and bought the evening snacks for their owners or co-workers. That time they ate few snacks over there and packed the remaining and went out. I observed this and told to Theiveegam, that if you buy snacks for 10 bucks for the boys, they will be delighted. But you will never feel happy like them even though you get lacs of money.

I got to know what I am missing when I read the forwarded article of Suki Sivam. It filled my gap. There was a story that explained me clearly. I am not good at story telling. Hope you'll understand the story.

There was a kingdom. The king is not happier due to his enemies and kingdom problem. But he saw that one of the security people is happy and doing his job happily. So he asked that security person, how he is happy.

The security person said that he is getting enough money and he has a shelter to live, with money he can have enough food for his family. So he doesn’t have any worries.

The king called his advisor and told this to him. The advisor told to king that he is not in ‘99 gold coins’ club. So he is happy.

King asked the advisor what is ‘99 gold coins’ club. Advisor said that he will explain practically. And he put 99 gold coins in a bag and placed in front of the security person’s house. The next day the security when he is going to palace found that bag. He counted the coins. It is 99. So he thought that there is a missing coin. So he searched the surrounding places and could not find that one gold coin.

Then he had hidden that bag in his house. Now his worry is on making the 99 gold coins to 100 gold coins. So he worked hard and asked his family members also to work. Daily he was worried about the safety of the gold coins. So he was monitoring the gold coins in the night, and last sleep. Now he is not happy in his work and his life. Always he thought of making 100 gold coins. He was not happy with having 99 gold coins.

The King’s advisor told the king that now he joined the ‘99 gold coins’ club.

In our childhood we are happy with what we got. But now we are trying to make 99 gold coins to 100. So we are not happy or satisfied now. When we grow our expectations are also growing. After riding cycle, we want bike, then car and then luxurious car and then apartment etc. The list is never ending one.(Still I am thinking of buying BULLET :) ). And we are not happy with current job. Worrying on upcoming recessions, financial crisis etc. We are always worrying for that 1 gold coin. We are not happy with what we got and expecting more beyond that.

I think the point is made.

The Pianist

I thought it is a musical film. So I thought of seeing this later. But after seeing this movie as a favorite movie in one of my colleague's blog profile, I watched this movie.

Its not a musical film, which I thought earlier. Its about the survival of a Jewish musician at the time of World War II after the invasion of Germans in Poland. The film showcases many horrors done by Germans like killing, beating & burning of Jews. I am unable to see the film once the Germans started torturing the Jews. Its horrible (May be I am light hearted? 8-) ). I wonder how the kid saw the movie.

The hero hides in an apartment and struggles for food. At one point of time he drinks the unclean water, eats rotten potato. After seeing this I thought how we are gifted.

We, the software engineers, are not starving from food. We really dont know the worth of a single piece of meal. If you ask any software engineer, how his canteen food he will tell that it is the most crap food and they wont eat what they take in their plate. Most of the people are wasting the food in the office. In our office canteen they used to display the amount of cumulative and daily food wastage. Mostly it will be 25kg per day.

In the film, The Pianist, at one scene a family of 5 people will share one piece of caramel. Here is a picture which got Pulitzer prize and showing a hungry children.

Most of the people in this world are starving for food. But here we are wasting kilos of food. If one person wastes a meal, its like he obstructed another perons's meal. After seeing this movie, I sworn myself that here after I wont waste food. Atleast it is a good thing I am doing.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Even though I read this book earlier, I have experienced this yesterday only. May be before that I didn’t realized.

I just returned from work and entered the home. My mom told me that the gas lighter was fell down and the handle was broken. She was trying to explain more. But I interrupted her and said, “Don’t worry mom, I will get you new one”.

I thought this will cool her. But the effect was reverse. She said “Am I dumb? Why you are trying to stop me? I should not talk?”. Really I didn’t get what she meant.

She continued. “Morning you wake up early and going to yoga. After returning you are rushing to office. And you are back at night only. Only this time I can speak to you. That time also you are stopping me to speak.”

I realized what she meant. Here she is not worried about the broken thing. She is using that has some topic and trying to speak to me little.

I ashamed that I am not spending quite a lot time with her. Hardly I am available home in weekends. Weekdays most of the time goes in office and other activities. So she wants me to spend some time with her.

As said by John Grey in ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’, a man wants to help a woman feel better by solving her problems. He feels he can be valued and thus worthy of her love when his abilities are used to solve her problems. He has no idea that by just listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive.

This is the reality. What I understood was my mom is asking for a solution. But she wants me to spend some time with her. Now I realized this. Now trying to leave office earlier :)

Happiness

What is happiness? When a person feels that he is the happiest person in the world?

Everyone thinks happiness in their own way. If you ask a jobless man, he would say that he would be happy if he gets a job. Ask an unmarried man, he would say that he would be happy if he gets married. Ask a person who is seeking love from a girl; he would say that he would die for getting the love.

Everyone has their own list. And they will feel happy when their desire becomes fulfilled. But after their desires are got fulfilled are they really happy? Definitely no. Their list grows. And they are not happy anymore.

See the pattern of their desire; they are seeking what they don’t have. If their desire comes fulfilled they will be happy; otherwise not. Unfulfilled desires make their life misery.

How a man will be happier ever? If he has desires which can be fulfilled. Or he is happy with what he got.

If we understand this we will be happier ever. This point is said by most of the yogis. As said by Gowthama Budhdha, unfulfilled desires are the reasons for misery. It is said in first poet of Thuravu adhigaram in Thurukkural. When I read that poet in my childhood, I didn’t get the real meaning. Now I got it.

So I just started to live happy with what I got. Not expecting any more and not having desires which can’t be fulfilled.

Who wants to be a zero?

Who wants to be a zero? In every circumstance everyone wants to be a hero. Whether if it is in a closed room (or) public place everyone wants to be recognized and show cases them different from others. Especially if there is a girl and there are more boys, everyone wants to grab the attention of girl. So they do some funny things. It is true for everyone including me.

I just thought what I have done all these years. Now it seems funny, what I have done to catch the attention from others. In those situations everyone wants to become something which they are not really.

As said by Sadhguru, spirituality is not we are doing; if we stop all the non-sense what we are doing. It is spirituality. So I just stopped doing all these non-sense. Why I should change my behavior and showcase me as some character which really I am not. Now I started watching the world as it is.

I donno what to say after this. I need to revisit this topic again and add more.

Colors of Life

I am an atheist. I became as an atheist when I was doing my 7th std. Now it’s more than a decade ago, still I remember that day. My teacher was explaining about Periyar's thoughts. That made me to think about God and existence of God. As of now I lived as an atheist for nearly 14 years.

My bro is the pilgrim of Swamy Ayyappa and every year he used to go to Sabarimala. Many times he told about his last trip to Sabarimala, thru the route from Erumeli to Sabarimala. The route is called ‘Peru Vazhi Pathai’ and the pilgrim has to pass mountains and walk nearly 48 kms.

Inspired by his experience, this time I want to go to Sabarimala, without wearing mala. But my bro said, “So far you are living as an atheist. Live as a pilgrim for 45 days”. So I accepted the offer and want to live my life for 45 days in a different color.

Everyday we got up early morning and went to the near by Ayyappan temple by walk. Some days we missed. In weekends we have gone to Pazhamuthircholai. We will go to Abdul’s house by vehicle and from his house we will walk to Pazhamuthircholai. Its nearly 15 kms.

The days are gone just like that. We have started our journey to Sabarimala on Jan 5th morning. Our group had 11 pilgrims. Most of the pilgrims were my age group.

Reached Erumeli on Jan 5th evening. Started the journey from Erumeli on Jan 6th early morning. Since the group is big, and had 4 freshers, a strategy was formed. Every one has to stick to experienced one. As a fresher, I want to prove that I can walk fast and cross the mountains easily. So I started walking fast, reached the meeting points Peruthodu, Kaalaikatti & Azhutha Yettram ahead of schedule. Few people reached after some time. Others had pit stops and reached an hour later.

Now I realized that going alone and reaching the meeting point is not a big thing. Instead I need to motivate the people who are walking slow and make them reach. So I stayed back. Most of the people are de-motivated by seeing the height of the mountain. I encouraged them by saying, “Do not see the height of the mountain. Just follow the pilgrim, who is walking in front of you”.

Finally reached Karuvilanthodu Jan 6th evening and halted. Next day we have started to cross Karimala, which is difficult to pass. Frankly speaking I don’t have any difficulties, but I don’t know why the people are saying that its difficult. Then we have reached Pamba.

Pamba is considered as divine. But the river is so dirty. Its full of human wastes. (The gift from the devotees so far???) . So everywhere we sticked with mineral water.

After Pamba, started walking to Sabarimala. We have reached Saramkothi around 1.30pm. Up to Saramkothi we don’t have any problems. After Saramkothi, the pilgrims are moved batch by batch. The crowd is huge. Then the real frustration started.

The pilgrims are not at all following the rules. They are jumping between queues. The police men are also not controlling them. They are simply watching. Got highly frustrated and we have tried to control the crowd. But those people are not listening. We stayed in the queue for nearly 14 hours. Then went to ‘18 divine steps’. By the time it was 3 am. Unable to see the Swamy Ayyappa, bcoz the sannidhi was closed around 11pm.

With the frustration we have gone to cottage and slept. Next day morning, my bro taken us to see the Swamy Ayyappa by doing the Ashtabishegam. We have seen the Swamy Ayyappa for nearly 15 minutes.

The last day we have waited nearly 14 hours, for a second to see Swamy Ayyappa. But now we had dharisanam for 15 minutes. While seeing the abhisegam our frustration was gone. If we had dharisanam on last night, we wouldn't have got this.

There I realized that, "If we are not getting the wanted one now, in future we will get the better one"